


The Tale of the Great Wine Mom

by ciel_jones



Category: Original Work
Genre: But everything goes downhill from there, F/M, Humor, honestly this was all for an English project, i think it's funny, office life, starts off with potential
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-05 20:48:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12802071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciel_jones/pseuds/ciel_jones
Summary: Just read it. People honk it's good so I really hope it is. Leave a comment down below saying what grade you think I got on this.





	The Tale of the Great Wine Mom

**Author's Note:**

> The final product ended up being 20 pages long on Google Docs.

The Tale of the Great Wine Mom

_This story is based on the idea that ancient Greek gods and goddesses used to trick mortals by giving them gifts that were actually punishments in disguise._

As long as humanity could remember, there had always been The Guardians. The Guardians were the protectors of the Earth; defending its inhabitants and Mother Earth from threats invisible to the human eye. These Guardians were hand chosen by Mother Earth herself. They usually picked those who were at the bottom of the barrel, those who seemed as if their very existence was a burden to community. She whisked them away from their sorry lives and puts them through rigorous training so that when their time came to fight, they would be ready. Every fifteen years, Mother Earth searched for those who were a detriment to society. Now, she was ready to select a new Guardian.

Ruby Veno lived by herself in Colma, California. She never did much; it was considered rare to see her shopping, and it was rarer if she was ever spotted outside. Even within the isolation and privacy of her own apartment, Ruby hardly ever left her bed. The lights were permanently off, the window shut and her own body always seemed to be wrapped up in a bundle of cheap blankets. Not one person in the complex had any clue about where she came from, but no one ever tried to ask. To them Ruby was a mystery, and would always remain one.

The truth was, Ruby had moved to Colma to sleep. She had graduated high school with good grades, and a good number of colleges offered her scholarships. Ruby’s parents were ecstatic. Ruby, not so much. College meant more school, which meant more students, which meant more social interaction, and that took a lot of energy that Ruby just didn’t have. She had to find a way out of there. So when the time came for Ruby to be sent off to college, she had already formulated a master plan that would give her at least four years of complete isolation. She lied. She lied her butt off. She lied so hard that at one point she thought her pants were going to spontaneously combust.

She told her parents that she would be attending a university in California, (they didn’t bother to ask the name) and used the farewell money her parents gave her to rent a dingy apartment in Colma, California where she would write back to them fabricated stories about her classes, friends and experiences. Her parents wouldn’t have had a clue. But there was one problem, she was expected to return home by the end of May. That would send everything into a downward spiral, she could already tell. She pondered the situation as she lay curled up in her bed, burrito wrapped in too many blankets to count.

Ruby let out a long and exhausted sigh, “Guess I’ll just have to go back and face the consequences then…” as she drifted smoothly into a deep slumber. Then her eyes snapped open. She was still asleep, she could sense that much, but she was no longer in her bed, but standing on a gigantic white platform and underneath a cream colored sky. Maybe she was astral projecting.

A feminine voice spoke out from behind her, “No, no you aren’t astral projecting, I’m afraid. However, I have come to you to offer something that I think will be quite of interest to you.” Ruby turned around to see a woman, a beautiful woman, standing a few steps behind her. She had wavy, long, blonde hair that was done partially up, with a variety of flowers tucked behind her ear. She wore a long, white, garment that looked similar to that of an ancient greek goddess and had a somewhat sparkly aura surrounding her. The woman probably was an ancient Greek goddess.

“So Miss Veno,” she purred, “As I just said, I have come to offer you an opportunity to become a Guardian.” Ruby’s eyes widened. Being a Guardian had always been a childhood dream, going on adventures, fighting monsters, and getting new powers always seemed so much more appealing than the trials and tribulations of everyday life. Plus, it was a way to escape the dreaded confrontation with her parents in a few months.

The woman continued, “As I’m sure you’re well aware, I am Mother Earth, founder and head of the Guardians, who are a special force tha-.” Ruby cut her off with a quick, but loud, ‘YES!’ that shocked Mother Earth enough to stop.

“You, already, accept?” She questioned. No one had ever said yes to the offer so quickly before. Ruby only nodded in response. “Well I guess that I could bring you with me now…”

“Oh my God please do!” Ruby exclaimed, only throwing off Mother Earth more.

“ Well..,” the magical woman sounded unsure, but then she put on a close-lipped smile as she quickly grabbed Ruby’s hand, and the platform disappeared along with the white sky. Their surroundings were moving at the speed of sound, yet remained still. Ruby didn’t think she had felt such sickness since she had gotten the flu. Then everything stopped. The sickness, the movement, evaporated into nothing. Ruby, still clutching her stomach. Looked up and saw a fax machine. And a cubical. Nothing was making any sense. Where were they?

“Welcome Ruby,” said Mother Earth smugly, “to the Office dimension.” She handed the shocked young lady a stack of paperwork and smiled like a spoiled child. “You’re an official Guardian now.” One of Mother Earth’s assistants, a small young man with glasses, was thankfully able to catch Ruby before she hit the ground.

 

When Ruby finally came to, she was in an uncomfortable office chair and had a stiff neck. Groaning as she woke up, she looked around and noticed that the room appeared to be an office break room. There was plain wall paper, a round coffee stained table, and a counter with a coffee pot, cups, and donuts scattered on top of it. The weight of her impossible reality finally set in and she groaned even louder as she slumped farther into the seat. Ruby’s pathetic pouting had only just begun when she was interrupted by the door to the break room slamming open, and a man who looked like he had seen better years walked in holding a mug.

“So you’re finally awake, huh?” He strode over to the coffee pot and poured the rest of its contents into his mug.

Ruby sat up so she could make out the cup’s print. ‘ #1 MANAGER.’ Her eyes widened and she sat up in an instant. “You’re the guy who runs this place, right? The manager? You’re in charge aren’t you? So you can get me out of here, can’t you?” She fired questions left and right, but the man hardly paid her any mind, and set down the pot. Ruby stood up, silently demanding his attention. With a heavy sigh, he turned to face Ruby and looked her dead in the eyes. Ruby stepped backwards, intimidated by the man’s blank stare. Upon closer inspection the man looked more dead than alive. His hair was combed back, yet somehow still in disarray. His eyes were blank, devoid of any life, and he sported dark bags underneath both eyes. The manager’s shirt and pants were wrinkled, his collar stuck up at the corners. Overall, the manger was probably the closest thing to a corpse that Ruby will ever see.

The manager let out a course and hollow laugh. “So you think I’m actually have some form of control over this place. Well I gotta’ sorry surprise for you then, newbie…” the man shook his head defeatedly. “No one’s ever in charge here. If there's any kind of order at all, it's because the ‘ever so kind and gracious’ Mother Earth has decided to show up and grace us with that smug mug of her’s.”

The manager glanced up to see Ruby’s shocked expression and cast his gaze to the carpeted floor. “The name’s Emil Lee, newbie, and if you’re looking for a way out…” he walked up to the door turning around to give the young lady one last blank stare, “... you’ll never find one. There is no escape.” He rasped, before turning the knob and leaving Ruby alone in her shocked state.

Utterly confused and thrown off, the young lady rubbed her forehead and stared out the wall. “So there’s no escape, huh? This is what I get. This is my karma for lying to everybody for four whole years.”

“Oh it’s more than just that!” a voice declared. Ruby shrieked and jumped on top of the chair. Seriously that was twice in one day, or at least, what seemed like a day. Did time even work in this place.

The same voice grabbed her attention once more. “Um-u-uh-uh, m-miss? Are-are you a-alright?” She looked towards the voice to see a short, spectacled, young man, probably about her age, gripping her stack off papers in one fist, and a pen in the other. He must have come in when Emil had left.

Ruby gathered herself enough to respond. “Oh yeah, I’m just a little in shock that’s all,” she sighed, “are all those papers for me?” The man only nodded. An awkward silence filled the room.

“Letmeshowyoutoyourcubical!” He suddenly exclaimed, and though Ruby could only make out two of the words he said, she threw out a simple ‘Okay, sure.’ and exited the room while the strange man held the door open for her. So chivalrous. His tiny form then sped past her, and she was forced to pick up her pace in order to catch up with the speedy little guy. They arrived at the small office space meant for Ruby and she took one look at the papers already sitting on her desk. She couldn’t help but cringe at the foreboding amount of work, for this was exactly the kind of life that Ruby had been avoiding for the past four years. Well that’s karma for you.

“So you know, about what you said earlier,” Ruby said, “that we’re not just here for some divine karma and what not, what else is there to it?”

“J-just that we were sort of, uuuhmmm…,” he searched for the right word, “what would be c-considered as dead wei-weight to society.” Even though she knew those words to be one hundred percent true in her case, she couldn’t help but feel just a tiny bit insulted. “There were four of us in this particular office, until y-you came and now we have five.”

“But the manager, Emil, what about him? He only had to watch over four people before, but why does he look so, so…”  
“So what?”

“So dead inside!”

The little man chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head, “W-well that’s be-because he has to deal with ‘th-them’ all the time.”

“Them?” Ruby asked, “Who’s them?”

If possible, the man seemed to become even more anxious at the mention of, ‘them.’ “I-I’m y-you’ll run into ‘them’ sooner than y-you want to. I-I should probably go back to my cubical now... B-bye.” He started to speed away but Ruby’s voice was able to stop him in his tracks.

“Wait, hold up. You never told me your name by the way. Mine is Ruby Veno.” She said with one of her rare smiles. She grinned because she didn’t want to seem intimidating, that’s right. Not because the stranger’s quirky presence made her feel happy or anything. No that was definitely not it. However, the smile seemed completely ineffective, and the poor boy’s cheeks turned as bright red as a tomato.

“MynameisNolan!”

“I’m sorry, could you say that again?”

“MynameisNolan!”

“Just your name, please?”

“NOLAN!”

Ruby tried smiling again, “Well… it’s been nice meeting you, I guess.”

Nolan’s blush spread to his ears, before he yelled, “Yesithasbeenverynicemeetingyoutoo!” and sped away. For some reason Ruby’s cheeks were pinker than usual as she pondered if she was really tall or if Nolan was just fun size, and began to slave away at the dreaded pile of paperwork.

 

Overall, the Office dimension hadn’t turned out to be as bad as Emil first made it out to be. The pessimistic manager mostly kept to himself, or was too preoccupied with ‘them’ to ever give her a chance to really get to know him. Ruby knew that the two of them hadn’t really gotten off of the best foot, and she was also well aware of the fact that he didn’t really want to talk to her, but for the most part, that never bothered Ruby at all. Nolan, on the other hand, was an absolute sweetheart. She had never met someone so mature and responsible; yet so socially incapable that he couldn’t help but giggle a bit as he tripped over his words whenever she would talk to him. But it wasn’t because he looked cute when he blushed or anything, just her being a normal friend. The two would eat in the break room together in a comfortable silence, at least until ‘they’ started forming plans to get Nolan and her to start dating.

‘They’ were a trio of childish demons definitely produced by the devil himself so they could wreak havoc in the Office dimension and be a constant thorn in Ruby’s side. Polly was the mastermind, and the leader behind all of their failed attempts to get Ruby and Nolan together, but would more often than not ended up in the troublemakers getting very injured. She would try to cover up their work, using her innocent smile along with her girly appearance, but Ruby was no oblivious idiot and attempted to shut them down multiple times. Kiran, was a party person, jet black hair kept slick in a tight ponytail and sunglasses that never came off, she got the most kick out of watching Nolan and Ruby’s awkward interactions. She laughed at all of her group’s effort in matchmaking, even if the plans always went up in flames. Oliver was the sneaky one, with his permanent smirk and blond hair that somehow defies gravity, Ruby, Nolan, and Emil could never tell if he had done something, or if he was just trying to cause widespread paranoia. Yet, despite how troublesome ‘they’ could be at the same time, she had grown fond of the trio’s child-like nature, their pranks serving as a daily form of comedy, and a much needed break from the mundane office life.

In fact, ever since her arrival in the Office dimension and getting to be around such entertaining people, Ruby had noticed a somewhat startling change in herself. She had begun to act more open, more outgoing, and more open with others than she had ever been in her entire life. The personalities of her coworkers and her manager and their interactions were something that Ruby had to begun to treasure. She was still lazy, constantly tired, and groaned when ever Mother Earth had ushered in more paper work, but aside from that, Ruby would feel a strange sensation overcome her whenever she saw Nolan stutter nervously, or when the trio would grin cheekily even though they were battered and bruised, or even when she received a saddeningly small smile from Emil as he thanked her for keeping watch over ‘them’. He had even left her a bottle red wine on her desk to show his appreciation. It had progressively gotten emptier everyday.

Although she was very grateful that her coworkers had changed her for the better, it did not change the fact that the lunch time she spent alone with Nolan was precious, and that she did not having it interrupted by ‘their’ ridiculous shenanigans.

She had just taken a bite of her donut when a large boom erupted from outside, startling Ruby enough to make her jump, and making poor Nolan duck underneath the table.

Then a loud yell she recognized to be Emil’s compelled her to rush out of the break room, Nolan scuffling on her heels. The scene that met her outside was something she should’ve seen coming. Her desk had been splattered in blue paint, the substance had mostly likely stained everything she owned, except for, ironically, the almost empty bottle of red wine. Surprise mixed with an anger that quickly fed into her system as she mentally prepared the trio’s scolding. They were all laughing hysterically at the mess they had made, while Emil leaned against the want, trying to blind himself by staring straight into the ceiling lights. Another lunch with Nolan, wasted. This was it, this was the last straw. Oliver drew blue eyebrows onto his face, which caused Kiran and Polly to laugh even harder. It was there that Ruby had officially lost her cool.

“Are. You. KIDDING ME!!” She screamed, “Ever since I’ve gotten here, I have been nothing but a subject to your stupid pranks. I have been nice to you, and I am polite, and sometimes, if I’m feeling nice, I’ll tidy up your desks for you. And this- THIS!?! Is how you repay my kindness? I swear kids these days.” She pointed an accusing finger towards Emil before continuing on her rant, “And yyyoooouuu. Ever since I’ve gotten here, you’ve been slacking off, and suddenly I’m in charge of all the grown-up children. You’re the manager, so do your dang job! I can’t take care of all of you gremlins, I DON’T DESERVE TO BE A WINE MOM!!!!” She paused and turned to see Nolan tremble softly and said, “Not you sweetie you’re doing great. Good job,” which only triggered more laughter from Polly, Kiran, and Oliver. Ruby whipped her head around to continue to lash at them.

But then the laughter suddenly stopped, and she noticed that something was very wrong, and she turned just in time to see Polly fall to the ground. Emil was frozen in place, eyes wide and mouth gaping, Kiran and Oliver, both covered in blue were shaking the still body of their companion. Fear overriding all previous emotions, Ruby rushed over to the unconscious girl and quickly notes that had probably fallen over from laughing, and had hit her head on a nearby desk. Polly didn't seem to be super injured, she probably was going to be fine. However, no one else new that.

"Miss Veno," said Kiran, "is Miss Polly going to-is she going to be okay?"

Oliver scooted over to Kiran and gently held her worst while looking up and Ruby. "Rubaby, please," he begged, "you're smart and stuff, so you can help her right? 'Cause you can probably help her wake up, unless...," he paused, small tears forming at the corners of his eyes, "unless she's d-d-dead!!" He wailed. Kiran's lower lip trembled heavily at the suggestion, and Emil stared at Polly's body with a small hint of fear in his eyes. Nolan looked like he was going to faint, his messy dark hair contrasted his skin as the color slowly drained from his face.

 

Lifting Polly up bridal style, Ruby somehow carried her all the way back to the break room and left her in the uncomfortable chair. She went to grab a pillow from a cabinet, and overhead Emil, who had seemingly snapped out of his shock, attempt to comfort Oliver, Kiran, and Nolan. Ruby couldn't help but feel a bit guilty for going off on everyone earlier, she knew they were just trying to help, in their own way.

A soft groan from alerted Ruby of her coworkers awakening. Ruby filled a coffee cup with water and returned to Polly’s side. “Hey Polly, how are you feeling?” The other only grunted in response. “Okay that's a start. Can we use words now?”

“Yes,” Polly groaned, “I’m really sorry about your desk Ruby. It’s just that we can really tell that Nolan likes you, but he's just too socially incapable to initiate anything, and we know that blue is you're favorite color, so we were gonna paint your cubicle blue, and then pretend that Nolan did it so that one of you guys would take the first step, but it was taking too long and we decided to giant paint filled balloon. That wasn't my brightest idea, but we were in a hurry. And then you got all mad, and even though we were laughing out loud, we were internally terrified of you ‘cause we just wanted to help…” she rambled on and on about how sorry she, Kiran, and Oliver were, and that the never did anything to purposely make her upset. She had even begun to tear up. “You know you should really cut Emil some more slack,” she sniffed, “ He tries really hard, and it's just that he's been in the Office dimension so much longer than any of us, and Mother Earth loves to pick ogn him the most, it's just-it's just-.”

That last statement caught Ruby off guard. “Picks on him? About what?” She questioned, a small hint of anger only slightly detectable in her tone.

“Well, that trash lady will occasionally come in and taunt us y’know, tell us about back home on Earth, if she wants to be a general bully. She likes doing it to Emil the most,” Polly looked into Ruby’s plain brown eyes asked, “You know why we were chosen right?”

Ruby nodded and recalled, “Yeah, it’s because we were sorta, uhn, dead weight to the world, right?” Polly flinched slightly at the other’s words.

“Well, it’s not just that, Ruby. You know that you’re here because you not only lied to your family, but because you never did anything. You never cared. That’s why Mother Earth never comes to taunt you. Because you never cared, and so she won’t care either.” Polly let out a discontented sigh. “It’s not even that we’re bad people, we were just too unfit for society, so as a punishment, we’re condemned to fill out paperwork for the rest of our existence. Oliver’s here because he would always play tricks on people and make other’s upset. Kiran’s here because she loved to party, and never did much else. Emil’s here because he would always bring those around him down with his pessimism,” Polly had begun to choke on her words, “and I’m here because everything that I try to do to help, always ends up in failure.”

It was then at that exact moment when Ruby realized that the feeling that stirred deep inside of her whenever she saw the trio laughing together about their failed schemes, or when Emil grinned, or whenever Nolan was in a twenty-five foot radius of her. It was maternal instincts. Her coworkers, her friends, were so pure and innocent, while Mother Earth was complete hag who was trying to hurt her five newly adopted children. Yet, she couldn’t help but be a little curious about the friend that Ruby forgot to mention.

“What about Nolan?” Ruby asked, “Why is he here?”

“I think that he should be the one to tell you...” she uttered sadly.

Ruby noticing the negative change normally smug and cheery girl’s voice, and attempted to console the downtrodden Polly. “Well, if it makes you feel any better I think you’re pretty great. I also think the Mother Earth is a complete and utter -”

“ImustadviseyoutowatchyourprofanityMissVeno!!” Nolan yelled from the doorway. Seriously, how did he manage to get in the breakroom without either of them noticing. Was he brought to the Office dimension for sneaking into breakrooms and giving people heart attacks?

“Heeeeyyyy, Nooolllaaannn~,” Polly grinned, “Are you here to talk to Ruuuubbyy~?” Nolan’s face flushed and Ruby felt relieved that Polly had reverted to her usual self. The short man nodded, and the ginger woman whistled for her friends. Oliver and Kiran, rushed inside, picked up Polly, and quickly left, only Oliver bothering to look back and give Ruby and wink.

“Wow,” Ruby smiled softly, “even after all that they still haven’t started acting their age. So, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about, I remember that you were going to tell me something at lunch, but… y’know, stuff happened… and, yyeeeaaahhh…”

“W-well,” he stammered, “as y-you may a-already know, we were all brought to this place f-for a reason. I know y- your’s, so I figured it was only right to tell you m-mine. I was brought her because wherever I went, I always caused discomfort, p-proba-ba-ba-bably because I can’t seem t-to effectively commuic-c-c-cate with people, especially people like you.”

That confused Ruby. “What do you mean people like me?” She asked.

“W-w-well, y’know…”

No, I don’t know.”

“Nuh-nuh-nuh-ni…”

“Come on sweetie, spit it out.”

“It’s hard for me to talk with people as nice as you!” Nolan proclaimed. Ruby was in shock, had she really just been complimented by one of the purest humans to ever exist. She had truly been blessed. But then the injustice of it all flooded its way back into her mind. How dare that trashy little dirtbag do this to such wonderful people. But she mentally resigned. It was no use now. She believed Emil when he told her that there was no way out, he did seem like the person who would at least try to escape before giving in. Besides Ruby had really begun to like the Office dimension. She had a family there now. She had people like Nolan, who she needed to protect and care for.

Nolan continued, “People w-would usually be freaked out by the w-w-way I talk, and would actively a-a-avoid me. You don’t do that though, you’re so kind to everyone in the place R-r-r-r-ruby, you’re n-nice to me, and I was wondering if mayb-b-b-be… we could… be a th-thing, y’know?” He smiled at her bashfully, his face was positively steaming, but Ruby thought it was the most adorable thing in the world.

“Of course Nolan, I’d be happy to be a thing with you, y’know?” She brought him into a tight embrace. His eyes barely made it to her collar. Had he always been so short, or was she just unnaturally tall? She had never thought about it before, but she supposed it didn't matter anymore. After all, she had just vowed to protect her friends, her height would only be an advantage when it came to comforting others with protective motherly hugs.Ruby broke away from the hug. “C’mon.” Ruby said, as she pulled Nolan out of the break by the wrist.

“W-w-wait! Where are we g-going Ruby?”

Ruby and Nolan exited the break room to see Oliver, Kiran, and Polly were utilizing disinfectant wipes to clean the floor that had been covered in blue paint by using them as skates and were slipping and sliding around the dirty wooden floor. All the while, Emil was washing the walls of Ruby’s cubicle, and he occasionally dodged a stray flying wipe from Polly or Oliver. Kiran saw them and smiled just as she had slipped on the wipe and landed on her bottom.

“Hey Rubbles,” Kiran giggled, as she pushed herself from off the ground, “Did the Nolman finally confess or something?”

“Yes,” Ruby declared, briskly walking towards her desk, “he did.” That attracted an onslaught of ‘ooooohhhhsss’ from the trouble trio, as if they were twelve year old kids. They probably were, at least in spirit. Ruby proceeded to her blue desk , Nolan in tow, while Polly, Kiran, and Oliver followed close on their heels. She reached out and grasped the almost empty bottle of red one hand, chugged the remaining contents and used the other to bring Nolan, and the trio in for a hug.

“Ahhh, isn’t that just touching?” Emil mocked from the side.

“Shut up you old butt, and get in here!” retorted Polly.

“Yup,” added Kiran, “You gotta feel the love!”

Ruby motioned for Emil to join them, and he regretfully gave into the hug. But she didn’t miss the small smile on his face when they welcomed him into the fray.

“So, why are we in a group hug again?” asked Oliver, playfully.

“Because I just realized that you’re all shorter than I am,” Ruby explained, her voice muffled in Nolan’s hair as she rested her head on top of his, “and also because I want you all to know that I love you and want to protect you.”

Emil stared in disbelief, “Oh my God, I can’t believe that my own mother is probably younger than me.” Everyone laughed at the manager’s words, and even Emil let himself smile a little at his own small joke.

Ruby pulled the group in closer, and pressed her cheek against Nolan’s head. She was fine with staying in the Office dimension as long as it meant being with her new family. Then she wondered if all of her coworkers just had really short parents. She couldn’t be that tall, right?

From a place that both exists everywhere, yet nowhere at all, Mother Earth looked at the scene with an unusual and appalled expression on her face.

“Are they having an emotional moment? Really?!?” she cringed, “Ew, get a room.”

END

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always appreciated.


End file.
